Kay's Story pt 19 - What Do You Want Me to See?

“Oh Elianna I wish you could stay!  I resent this Sylvia all the more right now for being your final destination.  You really would make a much better nurse for me than these old snakes—and a beautiful nurse for all that.”

            Elianna smiled.  The light from her smile opened up a flood of tears in Jasna.  For she saw in that instant a joy she had never known but had sought after her entire life.  There was a shining image of a happiness she feared would never be hers, and which may be lost because of the accident that had befallen her so suddenly.  Her body shook with sobs, and Elianna threw her arms around her, tears beginning to warm her own eyes.  When a few minutes had passed, Jasna finally was able to speak again. 

            “You’re so beautiful,” she said.

            “And you are too, even with scrapes and bruises.”

            “No, you don’t understand.  You’re so beautiful it hurts.  It shoots through my heart like a bolt of lightning.  I feel unworthy of seeing it….  It might sound strange—I don’t know how to explain it.”

            “Oh Jasna, you’re too kind.  I—”

            “No, I need you to tell me something.” Jasna looked straight at Elianna solemnly, earnestly. “When you were praying I heard you say something like….” She paused to think.

            “Yes?”

            “Something like, ‘Don’t just heal her body, but heal her blind eyes that they might see.’”

            Elianna nodded slowly.

            “See what?  What do you want me to see?”

            Something in Elianna leaped, and her pulse quickened.  She had dreamt of moments like this for years; prayed for them.  For these are the questions, the times a true Christian longs for.  Was it happening?  Had she really fallen asleep and created all this in her fanciful imagination?  Her face warmed, heat seeping into her cheeks.  Surely an interruption would come clattering down at any moment.  She looked into Jasna’s staid gaze, waiting for something to shatter this dream, as it had been so many times before.  She remembered the time she had helped Jim Custer—the eccentric homeless man—find shelter in a snowstorm.  He had been drunk, groping and cursing as she tried to guide and support his stumbling steps.  The next day he awoke sober, and found out who had saved his life.  He came all the way—three miles—to her house to thank her.  He asked her why she’d “done good by an old, wretched scoundrel” like him.  The answer was ready and true in her heart: Because Jesus Christ had shown her so much grace, so how could she help showing a little of the same to him?  But her own mother appeared innocently out of nowhere and pounced on the conversation.  And the moment was gone.  The question was forgotten.  She had punched the unsuspecting face of Mary and Sam Robinson’s snowman, and cried behind it out in the field.

            But here was this beautiful girl who had escaped death by a hair—a girl whom she had misjudged cruelly at the beginning, but who had reached out to her so generously—still waiting for an answer in the hours before twilight.

            “I want you to see the glory and beauty of Jesus Christ,” was her meek reply.

            Silence followed.  Jasna gazed at the ceiling in thought for a few minutes.  Then she spoke. 

            “Do you remember when I asked you what makes you come alive?”

            “Of course.  It was such a good question.”

            “And you said, ‘Prayer.’” 

Elianna nodded.

“I don’t know why, but that was the last thing I expected you to say.  And it crashed down on my heart like a boulder; like that auto that hit me.  I’ve thought about it a lot ever since—over and over.  That’s why I wanted to hear you pray.”

Jasna took Elianna’s right hand and kissed it, looking at her with admiration.  “It was so lovely, Elianna.  You weren’t lying at all—prayer really does make you come alive.  I’ve never heard anyone pray like that.  I didn’t even know it was possible.  I felt like something came alive in me just by hearing it.”

“It was certainly from my heart,” Elianna said.

“When I woke up and couldn’t feel my legs, and remembered what had happened (the fragments—Ferdinand had to tell me the details that had been knocked out of me), I had the strangest clarity in my mind.  I saw my life as clearly as we saw the sea on that day we became friends.  Everything I had ever done or said looked hollow, foolish, and insignificant.  Squandered.  Yes, I saw all my days as squandered for nothing.”  Her voice was breaking.

She paused.

“And then somehow I knew I needed you.”

Elianna’s whole being filled with more compassion and love than she had known in years.  Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she squeezed Jasna’s hand. 

“Oh Jasna, there’s—”

“Please let me finish?” Elianna nodded and sniffed.

“I think what you said a moment ago is the answer to my realization.  You said that you wanted me to see the beauty and glory of Jesus Christ.  Can you…teach me how to see this?”

“I can try.  It would be my greatest pleasure to show you all I can.” Elianna was beaming and blurry-eyed.

“Grand.  Let’s start tomorrow then.  Right now I want to ask you something else—if you don’t mind of course, that is.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

"Well…Elianna, are you sure you don’t need to sleep?  It’s awful late.  I’d feel badly if you took ill for lack of rest…”

“No no, I’m well if you still aren’t sleepy.  Are you?”

“Not a bit.” Jasna affirmed.

“So?”

“You’ve told me many things about Sylvia already, but what about David?  I want to hear what he’s like.”  Jasna’s tone peaked with expectant interest.  Elianna smiled and thought for a few moments.