Une petite pause

Dear faithful readers of "Kay's Story",

If you have been following my fiction posts I just wanted to inform you of my need to take a little break, or une petite pause.  I've just started a three week french immersion course at UBC and am also trying to wrap up two additional online courses.  My brain is therefore crammed to the brim with french vocabulary and verb conjugations, information regarding the economies of different regions of Canada (my geography course), and the effects of the Conquest on French Canadians in the 18th century (Canadian history course).  Then there is also my reading of "The Gospel According to Job" by Mike Mason (superb book), "7" by Jen Hatmaker (you should check it out), and different books in the Bible of course.  These are for necessary pleasure, sanctification, and survival and therefore cannot be put to one side.  Donc, je n'ai pas du temps maintenant pour ecrire-- ah! je m'excuse--I don't have the time right now for writing.  I hope to resume the story posts sometime in August.

Merci pour votre attention!  Enjoy the summer sun!  

Kay's Story pt 23 - Jasna's Parents

The next day saw the arrival of Jasna’s parents and many discussions with the doctors.  Hans Mültmann was a towering man with a personality to match his commanding stature.  With curly dark hair, glasses, and kind blue eyes, Elianna found him to be a charming gentleman, very different from Ferdinand.  Mrs. Naomi Mültmann was a frail slip of a woman who looked scarcely older than Elianna.  The poetic, delicate beauty she possessed was combined with a quiet, compassionate air.  She enveloped Elianna in a hug that made her think of her own mother.  It was so firm and thankful and overt.  She had passed on to Jasna her milky, snowy skin, merry crimson lips, and cheeks all flushed as though she were a child returned from galloping through the snow.  Her hair was the kind that one sees in paintings of medieval princesses, pale as moonlit dandelions. 

     Hans spoke animatedly with the staff about possibly treatments and surgeries for Jasna.  The options looked grim for her, but there was a specialist in north London whom Mr. Mültmann was sure could heal his daughter.  Due to her delicate state at present, she could not be moved out of the hospital.  Mr. Mültmann asserted that he’d ride to North London that very afternoon and bring the specialist to Jasna instead.  The staff tried to warn him of the necessity of appointments and reality of schedules.  Mr. Mültmann only scoffed, “Pshaw!”, drew on his coat and hat, and gave everyone a look that dared them to try to stop him.

This steely determination to acquire the absolute best for his daughter warmed Elianna’s heart even as it ached for Jasna in her helpless condition.  She thanked God that the Mültmanns had the means to call on the best help. 

Even so, Elianna knew this was no accident.  God was still in heaven, doing all that He pleased, and would not have let this happen without good reason.  Elianna thought of her promise to share with Jasna all she could about the glory and beauty of Christ and thrilled in her heart to have such an opportunity.  Ferdinand caught this look of grateful pleasure on Elianna’s face and grimaced in frustration.           

“What have you to grin about at a time like this?” His scowl resembled the lowery skies they’d considered together a few days previous.

In her seat beside the window, Elianna clasped her hands in her lap and looked down into them.  Mrs. Mültmann and Jasna were inside the room with the doctor administering a few more tests, so Ferdinand and Elianna were outside in a quiet waiting area.  The first thing that came to mind was the verse she’d read over and over in Sylvia’s journal recently. 

“Thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever…  You will not forsake the work of His hands,” she uttered in a small, gentle voice.

            Ferdinand raked his hands through his hair, shaking his head, as if trying to expel his agitation in any other way than through words.

“Mercy, you say?” he said, retrieving the silver flask from the inside of his jacket pocket and taking a drink.  “You think Jasna deserved this?”

Elianna’s stomach knotted and her chest tightened under the weight of Ferdinand’s palpable anger and challenge.

“I think we all deserve much worse,” she said quietly, looking up at Ferdinand standing at the large window only after he didn’t respond for several moments.  It indeed looked like a dark tempest was churning behind his green eyes and pained brow.

            Without a second thought, Elianna rose and went to him, putting a small hand on his broad shoulder.

            “Are you alright, Ferdinand?” she asked, in the sweetest dulcet tone he’d ever heard.  The loveliness of her pure, deep concern softened him, and whether it was from the swig of whisky or merely the sound of her voice, Ferdinand felt the intensity of his anger dispel.  He sighed a weary breath. The sincerity in her gaze shone like springtime sun across an azure sky.  Gone was all halting self-consciousness as she drew near with care.  Overwhelmed by the accident, lack of decent sleep, and her pristine beauty, Ferdinand’s eyes welled up with tears. 

            “I have failed, Elianna,” he said in a voice just above a whisper.

            She searched his face, and felt her own mimic his expression of pain and regret.

            “In what?” she asked.

            “In looking out for Jasna.  In protecting her,” his voice caught and a tear spilt over onto his cheek. 

Kay's Story pt 22 - David's Change

“Oh don’t be silly!  This is no time for teasing.  Tiresome—my foot!”

            Elianna’s entire countenance seemed to smile.  There was a soft peacefulness in her features that made Jasna think that talk of David made her younger.  He was like some secret fountain of youth, gurgling up in her mind, smoothing the anxiety and time from her face.

            “Alright, if you insist.  The note was a little longer than the first.  But not much.  It said,

            ‘Dear Elianna,

                        I think you’re pretty swell for a girl.

            —David’

            “That was all.  About a week later I heard a rustling in the woods behind me while walking home.  It turned out he’d been following me.  I had a flash of boldness and yelled at him to quit hiding and come walk home with me.  He not only did, but also talked all the way home like a magpie that had been deprived of chattering.  It was all kinds of banter about the pets he had, how he was going to be when he grew up, how he despised geometry but loved reading adventure novels, and on and on.  Then he said goodbye without a smile and that was that. 

            “He started walking home with me fairly regularly—regularly—that’s a funny word to pronounce, don’t you think?  I still don’t know quite what came over me, but I told him very frankly that I aimed to tell him about God and Jesus, and that I would let him choose the day to hear it!  He said his mother had got religion and he thought it was nothing but poppycock—so said his pa as well.  I said I didn’t care what he or his pa thought, and that if he wouldn’t have it he could walk home alone and I’d start praying that he’d break both arms and never be able to shoot a gun.  He tried to disguise his shock but I knew better.  Then he pretended to be angry and I told him sternly I’d have none of his huffing and puffing.  He said me and my sissy religion could go hang, and what good were girls anyhow?

            “After two weeks of walking home by himself and giving me the silent treatment, I got another note.

            ‘Dear Lianna, I’m sorry.  How ‘bout Tuesday?’

            “I remember clutching that wrinkled, splotchy paper to my chest in my happiness and running beyond the Mayhurst fields to pray, to cry joyful tears of thanks.  You know, it’s strange: David brings out boldness and joy in me that I never believed possible, while I bring out a shyness and gentleness that no one imagined could be in him.  That’s what happens when we’re together. 

            “Anyhow, Tuesday came and he listened gravely to me as I tried to explain everything just as the preacher had.  When I had finished my little sermon he thought for a moment and then said, “Look at that heron!’ I fell for it, and when I turned my head he kissed me!  I was madder than blazes and he went off running with a smug look on his face.  So it was my turn to give him the silent treatment.  I was rather severe for a week, and when I found another note from him, I ripped it up in front of his face without even reading it.  Then I even filled his knapsack with rocks and dirt during recess.  My friends said it was mighty risky and that he would fight me if he found out, even though I’m a girl. 

            “All this rivalry finally came to an end when David fell out of a tree and broke more bones than he could count.  He was lucky he lived, and when I went to see him he said he knew it was because he had refused to take my religious talk seriously.  He thought God had made him fall to teach him a lesson.  It was a  long autumn that he had to spend in bed, and it made a man out of him—he learned a lot of patience, and he read scores of books.  He had me read to him too.  I read him the autobiography of John Paton because it’s practically an adventure book for boys.  By the end of the book he said he had the notion to be the next John Paton, and if a man as brave as that loved God all that much, then he would love Him too.

            When he was finally able to walk about again normally, he was a different boy, unrecognizable—in good ways.  I think God answered mine and Mrs. Ashmore’s prayers by making him fall.  I remember finding a verse in the psalms that said, ‘It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.’  I went and showed it to him and he agreed.  Then he showed me a verse he had found in Psalm 51: ‘Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou has broken may rejoice.’  He said that his bones that had been broken were now rejoicing in God, and it wouldn’t be so if it hadn’t been for me.”  Elianna looked up at Jasna.  Her breathing had become very heavy and her eyes were now closed.  Dawn would be there soon.  She crept quietly to the nearby empty bed and fell fast asleep, dreaming happy dreams of climbing trees with a young boy and eating apples.

Kay's Story pt 21 - Praying for David

“Well, there was this point in the sermon that made so much sense to me as a child.  The preacher gave an illustration about him and his little girl.  She had disobeyed and hurt him one day, but she had been too proud to ask forgiveness even after he had punished her.  At the end of the day she finally broke down and ran to her father in tears.  She said, ‘O daddy I can’t stand not being able to hug you!  I’m so sorry; won’t you forgive me?’

            “And then I’ll never forget what the preacher said to everyone there.  Forgiveness matters because hugs matter.  A close relationship is restored.  He connected that with the way God offers forgiveness of sin to those who trust in the punishment they had earned.  He made a way to God—to be restored in an intimate relationship we had shattered and made impossible by our disobedience.”

            “That makes sense to me too,” said Jasna.  “So what did you do exactly?”

            “Well, I didn’t really do anything right then.  I remember a flash of white light go off in my mind, and with it this unmistakable sense that I believed in Jesus Christ.  I prayed in my heart that God would forgive me and save me from His wrath and into His family.  It was so clear to me all of a sudden.

            “Oh Jasna, you wouldn’t believe how much joy started to grow in me—like a bubble expanding and expanding all through the night so that I could hardly sleep!  I didn’t know little girls had the capacity for so much joy.  It was like my heart was full of merry sunshine.”

            “Wow.  I can’t imagine thinking and feeling such things when I was seven,” said Jasna.  “You must have been the cutest, most adorable seven year old there ever was.”

            “Not as cute as you, I’m sure,” retorted Elianna.  Jasna stared wistfully at the ceiling with a nearly imperceptible smirk on her face.

            “Actually, you’re probably right about that.  I was quite the cute little heartbreaker at that age.”

            “You vain goose!  As soon as you get better I’m going to tickle you for that!”

            “My dear Elianna, such things would not become a lady,” said Jasna.

            “That’s it.  I’ll tackle you as well!  In the most ladylike fashion you’ve ever seen!” said Elianna, suppressing giggles.

            “Shhhhhh!  You’ll wake Ferdinand!”

            They both convulsed with silent laughter until their eyes were wet with tears. 

            “Oh it’s so late!  We are crazy loons if there ever were any,” said Elianna.  “Aren’t you sleepy yet?”

            “Maybe a little.  But you haven’t told me enough about David yet.”

            “Oh yes.  Somebody distracted me.  Where was I, let’s see…”

            “Heart full of merry sunshine.”

            “Yes.  Good memory!  Well, the reason I told you all that was because it made me start praying for David.  The new joy and peace I had found in God made me want him to know it as well.  It made me pray for him every time I saw him, and every night before going to bed.  I found out later that it wasn’t just me who began praying for him.  His mother, who had experienced something similar to me, prayed hard as well.

            “One day after I had heard him crying in the woods David swore three times at the school teacher.  After getting licked for it, the teacher brought him back in and made him sit next to a girl for the rest of the week, which was utterly humiliating for him.”

            “Why?”

            “Oh David was a thoroughgoing chauvinist in those days.  He hated girls.  What I still don’t understand is why Mr. Hamilton didn’t think that it might be a punishment for me.

            “But God was at work, and I thank Him every day for that providence.  David didn’t speak to me or look at me for two days.  Being very shy, I finally wrote a little note and put it in his knapsack.”

            “What did it say?”

            “It said, ‘I don’t hate you.  I’m praying for you.’”

            “That’s it?”

            “That’s it,” Elianna nodded.  “The next day you would have thought that he hadn’t read it at all.  He snubbed me the same as ever.  But at the end of the day I went home and found a piece of paper folded up tightly in my knapsack.  It said (I still remember the bold, distinct handwriting), ‘Dear Elianna, Thanks. –David.’”

            Jasna let out a soft “Ha!” and smiled warmly.  “So peculiar!”

            Elianna reached into her handbag on the floor by the bed and drew out a worn Bible.  Jasna watched as she opened it and pulled out a little slip of paper, looking very aged.  “This is it,” she said, handing it to Jasna.  “I always keep it with me.”

            “What a precious memory,” whispered Jasna. 

            “Yes.  David thinks me a hopeless sentimental for keeping it like this, but I believe that secretly he’s glad.”

            “So, carry on.  What comes next?”

            “You can imagine how elated and surprised I was.  But the next day he was just as silent and smug towards me.  His pride couldn’t bear to be seen talking to the girl who was his punishment.  Needless to say I was saddened and disappointed, but still I kept praying for him.  By the time the week was over, and he was back in his old seat far away from me, he suddenly began to acknowledge my existence.  He started by saying hello to me every day with a grinless face and downcast eyes.  Then a few weeks later he wrote me another note.”

            “Do you have that one with you?” asked Jasna.

            “No,” smiled Elianna, “but I did save it.  It’s in a little box back home.”  She paused.  Her eyes twinkled.  “Are you sure you want to hear any more of this tiresome tale?”

Kay's Story pt 20 - Meeting David

“Oh my; that is quite the request,” she sighed.  She looked out the window with something in her eyes that made it clear to Jasna that visions of the past were dancing in her mind.  She waited silently and patiently.  Elianna had looked rather exhausted just a moment ago, but now her whole countenance had changed as though it were faintly lit with joy.  She then said very quietly, “I was designed for him.  That’s the only way I could explain it.”

“It?”

“The friendship we have—had.  Something that probably only happens once on earth every thousand years.

“You know, it’s fitting that you asked about him right after we spoke of Christ.  Because if I tell you about David you will start to see the glory of Christ in him.  There’s no way you can’t.”

“Perfect,” Jasna whispered. 

Elianna continued, “But he wasn’t always a man like that.  He grew up as heathen as a tavern rat.  Nothing his parents did could curb his rebellious nature.  He was wild—alarmingly so.  One time he put poison in the watering trough of one of the neighbor’s barns.  He did it because he hated their son for being smarter than he was with his figures.  Four of their horses died from that.  And David was only 6.  When he was seven he ran away from home because his parents wouldn’t buy him a gun.”

“Wise parents,” Jasna interjected.

“He stayed out in the woods for three days, and then they caught him in town stealing food from the mercantile.  Up until he was eleven it was seldom that a week went by without him fighting some boy—or girl—at school.

            “Oh Jasna, you can’t imagine his poor, poor mother!  To this day she looks ten years too old because of what he put her through.”

            “It’s a good reason to avoid marriage,” Jasna groaned.  “So where were you in all of this?”

            “Well, I was three years younger, watching him at school in horror.  I was afraid of him for a long time until one day when I was talking home from school and heard something like crying.  It happened to be David Ashmore sitting on a stump alone, whimpering like a baby.  I hid behind a tree and listened (I was always an old soul for my age, and incurably curious).  All I was able to make out was one phrase: ‘I hate myself.” And that forever changed the way I saw him.  There was no longer fear, but a form of pity and compassion.  That was when he was eleven.

            “I should tell you that a year earlier a peculiar thing happened.  A revival preacher came to town.  David’s mother and I both ended up at one of his meetings—she alone, and I with my family.  I don’t even remember the preacher’s name, but the way he spoke was like hearing thunder and sonnet at the same time.  Powerful, yet tenderly and vulnerably beautiful.  God saw fit to change my little heart forever through his words.  And the heart of Lady Ashmore as well.  It was one of the first times I had ever really understood the reason for God sending His Son Jesus to die for the sin of His people.  The preacher explained that we were God-haters by nature, which he proved from the Bible and through pointing out how our daily lives show our total lack of concern or affection for the God who made us and the world, and who keeps our hearts beating.  Then he went on to talk about how the stars and the planets and the sky show us the glory of God.  Sunsets and the full moon reveal something about the artist who created them.  He asked us, what kind of God would make the haunting, whispering fragrance of the violet?  Must He not be unimaginably beautiful and intricate and tender? 

            “Then he said, try to imagine what kind of artist would make thunder tear the sky asunder, and give rain to evil people like us.  Must not such a God be awesome in power, bigger and greater than we could fathom, and brimming with mercy and generosity?”

            “That makes sense.  I never thought of it that way,” Jasna said.

            “It made a lot of sense to me too,” Elianna continued.  “And I began to truly feel the weight of my disregard for God.  God had made everything I loved and thought beautiful, and yet I made no effort or time to thank Him, to live as He commands me to live, or to know Him through His word.  It was an awful feeling of remorse in the pit of my stomach.  The foolishness and wickedness of my heart toward this God who had showed me nothing but kindness and filled the world with splendour humbled me.

            “As the preacher went on about the wonders of God a fierce longing boiled up within me to know and be close to this God.  He seemed like the only thing worth spending my life in pursuit of.” 

Elianna paused. 

“By the way, I’m telling you all this because it directly relates to David.  You’ll see how soon enough.  Don’t worry that I’ve forgotten what you initially wanted to hear about.”

            “Oh please go on; I didn’t even notice.  I love hearing about you, too,” said Jasna.

Kay's Story pt 19 - What Do You Want Me to See?

“Oh Elianna I wish you could stay!  I resent this Sylvia all the more right now for being your final destination.  You really would make a much better nurse for me than these old snakes—and a beautiful nurse for all that.”

            Elianna smiled.  The light from her smile opened up a flood of tears in Jasna.  For she saw in that instant a joy she had never known but had sought after her entire life.  There was a shining image of a happiness she feared would never be hers, and which may be lost because of the accident that had befallen her so suddenly.  Her body shook with sobs, and Elianna threw her arms around her, tears beginning to warm her own eyes.  When a few minutes had passed, Jasna finally was able to speak again. 

            “You’re so beautiful,” she said.

            “And you are too, even with scrapes and bruises.”

            “No, you don’t understand.  You’re so beautiful it hurts.  It shoots through my heart like a bolt of lightning.  I feel unworthy of seeing it….  It might sound strange—I don’t know how to explain it.”

            “Oh Jasna, you’re too kind.  I—”

            “No, I need you to tell me something.” Jasna looked straight at Elianna solemnly, earnestly. “When you were praying I heard you say something like….” She paused to think.

            “Yes?”

            “Something like, ‘Don’t just heal her body, but heal her blind eyes that they might see.’”

            Elianna nodded slowly.

            “See what?  What do you want me to see?”

            Something in Elianna leaped, and her pulse quickened.  She had dreamt of moments like this for years; prayed for them.  For these are the questions, the times a true Christian longs for.  Was it happening?  Had she really fallen asleep and created all this in her fanciful imagination?  Her face warmed, heat seeping into her cheeks.  Surely an interruption would come clattering down at any moment.  She looked into Jasna’s staid gaze, waiting for something to shatter this dream, as it had been so many times before.  She remembered the time she had helped Jim Custer—the eccentric homeless man—find shelter in a snowstorm.  He had been drunk, groping and cursing as she tried to guide and support his stumbling steps.  The next day he awoke sober, and found out who had saved his life.  He came all the way—three miles—to her house to thank her.  He asked her why she’d “done good by an old, wretched scoundrel” like him.  The answer was ready and true in her heart: Because Jesus Christ had shown her so much grace, so how could she help showing a little of the same to him?  But her own mother appeared innocently out of nowhere and pounced on the conversation.  And the moment was gone.  The question was forgotten.  She had punched the unsuspecting face of Mary and Sam Robinson’s snowman, and cried behind it out in the field.

            But here was this beautiful girl who had escaped death by a hair—a girl whom she had misjudged cruelly at the beginning, but who had reached out to her so generously—still waiting for an answer in the hours before twilight.

            “I want you to see the glory and beauty of Jesus Christ,” was her meek reply.

            Silence followed.  Jasna gazed at the ceiling in thought for a few minutes.  Then she spoke. 

            “Do you remember when I asked you what makes you come alive?”

            “Of course.  It was such a good question.”

            “And you said, ‘Prayer.’” 

Elianna nodded.

“I don’t know why, but that was the last thing I expected you to say.  And it crashed down on my heart like a boulder; like that auto that hit me.  I’ve thought about it a lot ever since—over and over.  That’s why I wanted to hear you pray.”

Jasna took Elianna’s right hand and kissed it, looking at her with admiration.  “It was so lovely, Elianna.  You weren’t lying at all—prayer really does make you come alive.  I’ve never heard anyone pray like that.  I didn’t even know it was possible.  I felt like something came alive in me just by hearing it.”

“It was certainly from my heart,” Elianna said.

“When I woke up and couldn’t feel my legs, and remembered what had happened (the fragments—Ferdinand had to tell me the details that had been knocked out of me), I had the strangest clarity in my mind.  I saw my life as clearly as we saw the sea on that day we became friends.  Everything I had ever done or said looked hollow, foolish, and insignificant.  Squandered.  Yes, I saw all my days as squandered for nothing.”  Her voice was breaking.

She paused.

“And then somehow I knew I needed you.”

Elianna’s whole being filled with more compassion and love than she had known in years.  Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she squeezed Jasna’s hand. 

“Oh Jasna, there’s—”

“Please let me finish?” Elianna nodded and sniffed.

“I think what you said a moment ago is the answer to my realization.  You said that you wanted me to see the beauty and glory of Jesus Christ.  Can you…teach me how to see this?”

“I can try.  It would be my greatest pleasure to show you all I can.” Elianna was beaming and blurry-eyed.

“Grand.  Let’s start tomorrow then.  Right now I want to ask you something else—if you don’t mind of course, that is.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

"Well…Elianna, are you sure you don’t need to sleep?  It’s awful late.  I’d feel badly if you took ill for lack of rest…”

“No no, I’m well if you still aren’t sleepy.  Are you?”

“Not a bit.” Jasna affirmed.

“So?”

“You’ve told me many things about Sylvia already, but what about David?  I want to hear what he’s like.”  Jasna’s tone peaked with expectant interest.  Elianna smiled and thought for a few moments.

Kay's Story pt 18 - Late Night Conversing

When they arrived at the large, grey hospital where Jasna had been taken, Elianna rushed in ahead of Ferdinand.  She was nearly frantic to see that poor girl who had just promised to write her earlier in the day.

            On the third floor of St. Anne’s hospital, Elianna stepped into a room with big windows along one wall, and a clock over the east doorway.  There were four beds, which were all empty save one.  Two nurses stood in the room, one hovering by Jasna’s bed and another changing bed cloths.  Elianna was instantly at Jasna’s side, clasping those white, frail hands that had braided her hair not so long ago.  The hands were cold, and Jasna hardly moved.  Elianna held back the little cries that rose up in her as she saw the scrapes and bruises across Jasna’s face, neck, and left shoulder. 

            Elianna spoke tenderly to her, as to any injured child.  Jasna answered faintly and with some remarks like, “I’m glad I was there to slow down that auto or it might never have stopped.”

            Elianna mustered a weak chuckle.

            “Oh Elianna, it’s alright.  If I can’t feel my legs that’s just one less thing that can hurt right now.”

            Elianna shushed her with a reproachful look.  She was searching for something to say but she was helpless.  Everything that might come out of her mouth seemed trite just now.

            “I’m just glad you called for me,” she finally said.  “I don’t have the right words, but I’m happy to be here for you, even if I have to delay my journey.”

            With a slight hand squeeze Jasna whispered a “Thank you” that range with sincerity.

           

            Ferdinand and Elianna took turns reading to Jasna late into the night.  The shock and trauma of the incident had made it difficult for Jasna to sleep.  Her parents had been away on business and would not be able to arrive till the following morning.  It was three a.m. before Jasna’s breathing became heavier and her eyes closed.  Ferdinand had drifted off in his chair about an hour before.  Elianna felt utterly worn and weary.  She knew she couldn’t stay awake much longer. 

            Kneeling by the bed quietly, she began a whispered prayer for Jasna.  Before she could finish she felt a hand stroke her head lightly.  She stopped and looked up to see Jasna’s eyes glistening. 

            “I thought you would pray for me.  That’s one of the first reasons I wanted you to come.  It warms my heart.  I’m sorry to interrupt.”

            “Oh no, I was just—”

            “Shhhh…Ferdinand needs his beauty rest—we mustn’t wake him.”

            “I was just finishing.  I really hope I didn’t wake you with my praying…”

            “I never fell asleep to begin with,” Jasna smiled girlishly.  “I was hoping you would think me asleep so I could hear you pray.”

            “Why you mischievous eavesdropper!” Elianna said, no longer suppressing a great grin.  She poke Jasna in the ribs, and they both stifled laughter.

            “Lianna!  Oh, you must be gentle with invalid patients!  Of all the nerve!  You would make a terrible nurse.”

            The mock indignation lasted only a second before more muffled giggles spilled out of them.  When they both snorted simultaneously, they convulsed with more laughs, all the while shushing each other.  Elianna grabbed an extra pillow and buried her face in it.  Ferdinand twitched and started to snore loudly, which sent them into further gales of laughter.  

            “Doesn’t he look just dreamy and kissable with that little stream of drool flowing from the corner of his mouth?” asked Jasna.  Elianna smiled ridiculously and said, “Gross,” bringing her pillow down on Jasna’s face.  A little muffled squeal echoed through the large room.

            “You awful, naughty nurse!” she exclaimed, eyes shining.

            “Oh just wait till I give you a shot!”

            The sound of the door opening abruptly silenced them.  A nurse stepped in.

            “You ladies, let me remind you that this is a hospital, and there are patients below you trying to sleep.  Please keep your noise to a minimum.”  Both girls nodded their heads with a quick, “Yes ma’am.”  Ferdinand still snored valiantly even after the nurse had gone.  The girls snickered and smirked their way to a synchronized sigh, looking at each other with impish gleams in their countenances.

Kay's Story pt 17 - Saying Goodbye

Morning brought with it much movement on the ship as over half the passengers would debark in the city of London.  Elianna helped Susannah assemble all of the children’s things and told one last story to Meagan and the others while the Judith prepared to dock. 

            When all things were ready, Meagan clung to Elianna, her sweet face puckered into a pout.  “I will miss you so much, Elly!  Please oh please say you’ll come visit us?  Or perhaps I can stay on and come with you to Scotland.  You can teach me along with your other kids!”

            Elianna laughed.  “I’m quite sure your parents would miss you too much.”

            “Come, Meagan.  It’s time to go,” her father bade.

            She squeezed Elianna as tightly as her little arms could before letting go to snatch up her little hat and suitcase obediently.

            “See you soon, Elly!” she sang, following her parents off the ship.  Elianna had exchanged tearful goodbyes with Susannah moments before.  She could not have been more thankful for the blessing of her friendship over the course of this trying voyage. 

            Because the ship was not leaving for Edinburgh until the next morning, Elianna debarked herself to take in a bit of London before nightfall.  She wondered at the feel of solid ground beneath her feet.  It felt like it had been ages since she left her home in America.  

            Rounding a corner, she was knocked nearly sideways with déjà vu.  The street, though crowded in the daylight hours, was indisputably the same one that she and David had traipsed down that night at three in the morning so many years ago.  She’d halted and people flew by her on each side as she remembered with clarity the tone of David’s voices as he confessed to her, “Elianna, I’ve been thinking…and praying a great deal, and…I think I’m going to go as a missionary to India.”  What had followed hurt too much to remember.  She had to brush it aside to survive the sting.  Shaking her head, she mumbled a reprimand to herself and hurried down the street, trying to forget; but still the tears welled up and her heart burned.  She had been a fool to begin this journey in the first place.  It was far too late to change her mind.  Or was it?

            She turned into a dress shop, saw no privacy within, and abruptly left.  Taverns were trickling out music and laughter along the avenue, and other peddlers were selling their wares—pots, desserts, fabric, bread.  She had no money to buy anything, so she decided to return to the ship.  She needed to be alone to think, to pray, to prepare herself for the hour she would meet Sylvia. 

            Back in her room she looked around.  The little white wash basin, the daisy print bedspread, the funny photograph of an old woman holding a poodle—these little details had become friends, shared her frustrations, heard her prayers.  She was almost the only person on the Judith right now.  All had eagerly ventured into London for a change of scenery.  Elianna knelt down beside her bed ceremoniously, and then flung her face and both fists onto the mattress.  She wept as prayers stormed through her mind.  Some of them escaped her mouth.

            “Oh God, help me!  Son of David, have mercy on me, a sinner!  You know my frame—don’t forget that I am dust!  Just dust!  Don’t forsake me—the little girl—your servant—whom You foreknew!  I will surely perish on my own if You don’t rescue my foolish, fickle heart!  I can’t bear all this alone!  I want to go home.  I want to forget David ever existed.  I hate Sylvia right now—forgive me!  But I despise her.  She is an enemy I cannot love right now.  I pity her and want to love her, but I cannot. 

            “O Lord, don’t let bitterness overtake me and poison my heart!  I can feel it taking root, and it frightens me.  Whatever it takes, cut it out and fill me with love.

            “Lord, since the beginning I have wanted You.  And now my flesh and my heart are failing!  Please be the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Please make me—”

            She stopped as a knock pounded at her door.  When she opened the door with a red, tear-glazed face, Ferdinand stood before her.  “Come quickly,” he said, reaching out and pulling her by the arm.  She obeyed with a questioning look.  “I’ll explain on the way,” Ferdinand said.

            They hurried out and back into the city.  Once a minute or two had passed, he said, “Jasna…she’s just been in an accident.  She wanted you.”

            “Oh Ferdinand, what happened?”

            “One of those damned new automobiles lost control and hit her while we were walking.”

            Elianna gasped and let out a little cry. 

            “We were only a few steps away from the house—our home.  She’s badly hurt, Elianna.  I’m worried sick about her.  She can’t feel her legs still.  She was unconscious for an hour.”