Kay's Story pt 15 - Sylvia's Folly

            Back in her room Elianna debated for a long five minutes whether she would read the sleek new copy of Religious Affections she had selected from the Middleton’s library, or forge ahead in The Journal.  Against her better judgment (for nothing ever came from reading Sylvia’s journal than bitter vexation), she unwound the cord that encircled the leather shell. 

April 15, 1910

     A certain problem has arisen as of late with my “conquest” from the city.  Twice this last week I received letters from him outlining his fervent desires for me and his imploring that I meet him for a weekend at his country home.  I had only meant to have a bit of fun with the chap and prove that my powers could lure away an established, “respectable” man of society, for they are all the same—enslaved to passion, so easily flattered and puffed up.  Having proven my point, I had no further need for the lad.  I did no expect for him to further seek after my company. 

     I have not written back.  Perhaps he will assume his letters got lost in the post and give up.

     David comes around nearly every afternoon for a walk.  He insists on telling me what he has enjoyed from his daily Scripture reading, often becoming animated and passionate as she shares.  It is so tiresome to pretend interest in something so utterly boring and archaic.  And yet I keep agreeing to walk with him and even find myself asking him what it is that he’s been reading today, for he is so pleased at my feigned interest.  To be fair, David Ashmore is most assuredly different from all the rest of the men of society.  Less interesting and far too serious, but something tells me that I could never corrupt dear David with my insidious charms like I did my Conquest, nor would I think to try.  He is definitely different in a way that has begun to make me feel uncomfortable to be around him.       

           

            Elianna sighed with longing, remembering all the walks she had taken with David before Sylvia had come along.  They would read the same books from the Bible and then debate interpretations of different passages by the water in the clearing.  Other times they would take turns reading psalms aloud to each other, savouring the words, offering them up as prayers and praise as they read.  She so missed discussing Scripture with him, for it was in those times of sharing that Elianna had felt her heart knit together with David’s, so singular and strong were their passions for their God and His Word.

            She shook her head with fresh contempt toward Sylvia and renewed disbelief at David for being taken by her act.

           

April 21, 1910

     He came here, my Conquest from the city.  Caught my arm and pulled me around the back of the tailor’s shop on the main stretch in town.  I was so taken aback I could have been sick.  He was gruff and smelt of whisky.  Hadn’t I received his letters he wanted to know?  Didn’t Scotswomen know it was rude not to respond?  He hadn’t let go of my arm and his grip only tightened as I tried to think of what to say and how to get away.  I told him I didn’t think it best for us to see each other anymore, for the sake of his reputation.  After thinking this over and consuming my form once more with his bloodshot eyes, he let go and left me there behind the shop.  I couldn’t repress the sobs that took me over then and there.  Never do I want to see his loathsome face again.

     When I’d gathered myself together, who should meet me but David on my way back to Mr. Dowager’s!  He had picked a bouquet of spring flowers for me and gave me a book about some girl named Anne.  It looks silly and infantile, but I accepted it graciously, for once eager to put on my virtuous façade.  It gets me into far less trouble at least.

           

            It felt like sharp claws were tearing across the flesh of Elianna’s heart.  Without thinking, she left the opened journal on her bed and headed down the corridor outside her quarters.  She needed the outside, the chill of the wind to lash across her face, anything to distract from the throbbing, raw hurt of her heart. 

            Once outside on a narrow portion of the deck, Elianna leaned forward against the cold railing and closed her eyes, containing the pain.  It was no use to give herself over again to tears for the cause of David and Sylvia.  All her tears, all her prayers hadn’t helped the situation over the years and now she would have to face her again in a matter of days.  It was best to harden herself now.  What could she do?