This is a holy day. I still feel like I’m floating, swaying, being carried by the glory of God in the trees and sunlight and wisps of clouds. The dryer dries and the clock clicks. No one is here. But I am all afloat and aching to reproduce such glorious beauty in words so as to pass along some of this weight of glory.
Already I have been feeling anxious and fretful from being free of my school schedule. I have many things to do and I’m so excited to do them all but I can’t, for the life of me, choose what to do first. I wish I had a list of priorities from a boss that I could work through consecutively. It really stresses me out! I even forgot about my breakfast date this morning because things are so askew.
After rather nice time with a friend (“nice” for we spoke of books and school), I cleaned the kitchen and ate lunch and stretched (for I am exceeding sore from trying to get back into some semblance of shape). Then I had to choose something – one thing – to do next. I decided my body deserved some respect and care and that I should do the walk around Deer Lake Park before I got too caught up with other things. I sit here now on the bed, all showered and fresh in my dress, with pleasant warm tinglings in my feet and legs from such a nice walk. “Nice walk”, however, is a laugh compared to what it was. It was nothing short of “holy, holy, holy!” Really, I sigh, exhausted, to think of the glory I experienced. It makes me more exhausted to consider trying to recapture some of the magic in the concrete of words.
I parked and entered the first path. Right away, there was nowhere to look without being delighted at the new growth all around. Bushes have whole branches of baby leaves, all pure and fresh and fine. The hot pinks, pristine whites, warm yellows, and brilliant corals all bid me to fix my attention on them as they emitted their rays of beauty. The willows have been clothed again with their spray of leaves and now sway in the wind subtly full of magic. Around every corner was a new thrilling scene to behold. By the end I was shaking my head to Jesus, “You’ve done it again!” and still later, “You’ve really got to stop! I am undone! I am putty existing only to serve you! I’m yours! If your arms appeared to me I would run and jump into them and never leave. Never, never. [Big smile] Nope, I wouldn’t! I’d never leave!” For God dreamt this place up and designed all of its intricacies and spoke it into being. I know Him. It’s His desire to be my God, Friend, Husband, Lord, Father, Shepherd, and on and on. How can I resist? I am His and He can do whatever He wants with me. “I trust You implicitly,” I said. For someone who can dream such a place as that up should most assuredly be trusted implicitly. I am so far gone in love for Him.
Consider this. I am walking. I am about 2/5 through the loop around the park. I come to the bit of path that is on the sidewalk of the road. I see the bridge ledge and imagine sharing time there with someone talking and making memories. I look over the slab of the bridge ledge down to the creek and trees leading into the lake. I see a tall, lean form, sleek and stately, standing on a rock in the creek: a big blue heron not 20 feet from me above on the bridge. I rest my elbows on the upturned concrete ledge, guarding my face from casual cars and other passersby, and weep. I do. What else can I do? It is all too much for me - mere dust - and my grandiose unworthiness. I hide my face and shake with overwhelmed sobs until I think I had better study my gift while it remains there. I will my eyes clear and focus on its lithe form. When it walks, it propels its head forward first before stepping. Then its body moves to meet its head, while its head stays still to the micromillimetre. It is utterly captivating. I watch it meander to different rocks in the creek, stepping ever so gingerly onto the muddy bank and into the water. Then, finally, it spreads its long-feathered wings and flies off to sit in a tree for a while. Who is sufficient for these things? There was even a fox prowling in play through the fields but I am too spent to try to speak about that.
The only thing that could have been improved upon was my outfit at the time. The whole occasion just begged to experienced in a dress. Next time I will know better.
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